6 posts tagged “loss”
This past week I worked out for the first time, in a long while, with my start on February 4th for the 12 week Vox Fitness Challenge. (I also worked out for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th time, too!)
As I posted to the Fitness Challenge Group, I am taking baby steps forward due to my bad back....so this first week, on the Challenge, was nothing major but just getting back walking on the treadmill. Just being careful with myself is my plan for the first week or 2...because its not worth straining my back and then getting sidelined.
And I remember as I worked out on my first day (Tuesday), I was thinking that the extra activity would earn me some extra calories in the eating department. Wrong.
As those in the Fitness Challenge Group are aware, I am using the My Food Diary website to track my eating habits and my activity so I can track my consumed calories vs burned calories. I have used this site before and its great to be able to plug in all the food I ate (and how much) and what activities I did (and for how long)....and have the site do all the calculations automatically. I can track calories consumed, calories burned, have my food broken down by fats, carbs, proteins, sugars, nutrients, and also keep track of my body's progress. It also keeps a running tally each day and lets me know how many calories I have left, that day, if I want to keep on track for losing 1 pound a week (which is healthy). All this for $9 a month! I found it helpful, when I used this a few years aog, to be able to get a better feel for making sure I am not consuming more calories than I am burning....and that I am keeping certain things to a minimim like saturated fats and sodium.
The basic concept of weight loss is to burn more calories than we consume. If we burn around the same as we consume, or we just stick with the basic caloric needs of our body (there is a basic caloric requirement) we maintain our weight. If we consume more calories than we burn...then over time, we will gain weight. Each person's caloric needs are different and what that is, for you, depends on your basal metablic rate (metabolism)...which is dependent on your age, gender, size, genes, muscle mass, and activity level. We all need to intake a minimum amount of calories just to survive as different parts, of our bodies, like our brain, need to be fed a minimum caloric intake so that our body runs efficiently. (that's why we get light headed when we are really hungry)
Sidenote: If our bodies do not receive enough calories then our body "rations" the calories received to different parts of our body based on priority sequencing, just like the Starship Enterprise when it gets blasted too hard and eventually goes down to just enough power to maintain life support but no other functions. Without enough calories, our bodies cannot run at peak efficiency and that it why our body, in this state, will also start stockpiling up some things if it can - things it would normally burn or flush out. When there are not enough calories to go around, the last thing your body is doing is fat burning as its in survival mode. That is why starving yourself is not the way to lose weight. Not getting enough calories, including, yes, enough fat, over a long period of time will actually start causing damage to your vital organs. Just as taking in way too many calories and fat is bad for your health, so is not taking in enough. This is also another reason why the 6 mini-meals a day way of eating is so good for your body to work at peak efficiency. Anyhoo...I think I am digressing from what I started this post to be about...LOL....
As I am teaching myself, with My Food Diary, to eat more within my caloric needs, I am starting to look at this all a totally different way. I have also been enlightened to things I had made myself blind to.
Remember that first thought I had on my first day of working out? The one that I thought I would be getting to eat more because I was working out and burning more calories than usual?
aha moment #1
Eating healthy does not always equal eating for weight loss.
No, I am not suggesting that unhealthy eating supports weight loss better....but simply eating healthy things does not guarantee weight loss. Take me, for example:
I do not eat crap and prefer real food over processed foods.
I avoid wheat and eat whole grains.
I eat a maximum of 2 slices of bread per day. (either Coarse Rye or Ezekiel)
I don't consume much dairy (I avoid cow dairy but I do eat some goat dairy items.)
I eat a lot of "organic".
I love eating fish.
I love eating meat.
I sometimes eat tofu.
I don't use much fat/oil in my cooking...and if I do, I use a little olive oil or butter.
I rarely ever eat greasy, fried food.
I avoid refined sugar and rarely drink soda pop.
I eat fruit and vegetables every day.
I occasionally eat starchy carbs. (rarely potatoes...usually rice)
I rarely eat fast food or junk food.
I don't smoke.
I don't drink much alcohol.
I rarely drink coffee.
I drink 2.5 - 4 litres of water every day.
BUT when I started charting my eating habits on My Food Diary, I discovered that I was eating WAY, WAY over my limit for calories....and I was still hungry some days (without even working out)!!! My jaw dropped when I realized what I had been doing. I had fooled myself into thinking that simply eating healthy is enough.
Luckily all I had to do was get creative with some tweaking and strategizing.
aha moment #2
Eating within your caloric range is just like a math challenge or a jigsaw puzzle. You have to put together the pieces so they fit and/or add up correctly.
Tracking calories consumed vs calories burned ends up making my eating decisions more like a math challenge....which I have to admit can be a pain but also kind of fun. I like getting creative in the kitchen and with having developed dairy/wheat allergies, I am already used to reworking recipes. My Food Dairy takes all my guess work out so I can see what works and what doesn't work. Its like a math problem or even a jigsaw puzzle. I am always on the prowl: How can I put together healthy, tasty meals that fill me up and are also within my caloric allowance so I can lose weight? Sometimes its easy......and sometimes I need to get creative depending on if I am bored with the usual or want something new and/or different.
I know that counting calories gets a bad rap....and can be considered anal for a lot of people. But if you are habitually eating too many calories that don't provide you with enough substance which can sometimes leave you feeling hungry.....then you have to relearn how to feed yourself so that you are getting filled up with the right amount of calories. The math of it sucks and it can be easy, with a bad attitude, to think counting calories takes the enjoyment out of eating....but I think that if we are looking to lose weight, we have already acknowledged that the "party" has gone awry!!
Counting calories is not sacrifice...nor is it being exiled to the land of celery sticks and tasteless meals.
What is needed are different ways of looking at this.
1. Changing eating habits is about a lifestyle change vs a limited time diet.
The focus should be on discovering ways to eat better....but with variety and taste so you can change the way you live your life from this point forward and not just have this be something you endure for a period of time. A lifestyle change will only stick long term if you can find ways to make it enjoyable. And a lifestyle change is what is needed to maintain your body after you finally find youself at the body size/shape/weight you desire. Yo-yo-ing is what happens when eating habits are changed just long enough to lose the weight.....but then regular eating habits resume after the weight is lost. Its the old eating habits that got you into trouble in the first place....so going back to those eating habits will only get you back in trouble!
Doing what you have always done....will always give you what you always have gotten!
2. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Remember....the defintion of insanity is doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results.
3. Everything in moderation
Too often we feel that, to lose weight, we have to cut certain things out, wave bye-bye, and never to eat them again. Such things are not necessarily true.
In the book, French Women Don't Get Fat, Mireille Guiliano talks about how North Americans haven't learned the art of balance. Mireille goes on to say that you can eat the things you love but you must learn not to make the exceptions the rule. Treats are ok....but not for everyday.....because then its not a treat. A treat should be special.......and should be enjoyed not snarfled down quickly. I learned a lot, in this book, about adopting the right attitude.
Mireille also talks about having variety on our plates and for our meals. She cannot understand the North American way of eating with just one or 2 items for a meal because that is one of the easiest ways to overeat. If you eat one or 2 items, you will, no doubt, in order to fill up, eat a lot of one or both of those items. A good example of this is pasta. How often, as North Americans, do we eat a big dish of pasta for our meal? I think I finally have a better grasp of why so many French meals involve many courses of small food servings......it's for taste and variety. Our mouths get bored with just one taste....which is why after a big bowl of pasta we may be full...but our mouths crave something more.
Pasta gets a bad rap, in North America, because its high calorie, high glucemic, and high in carbs.....all bad for weight loss! Pasta is only bad if you laden it with heavy sauces and/or eat huge bowls of it! The key is moderation. Pasta is great and ok to eat....but as a small side-dish so you get the taste but not a massive amount of calories. I did this the other day with fresh gnocchi which I tossed with pesto and served along-side some lemon-garlic broiled cod and a whole bunch of veggies. That was a 468 (believe it or not!) calorie meal (for my portion....hubby's was more because he is bigger!) that left me feeling quite satisfied and like I had eaten decadently (due to the pesto sauced gnocchi).
The key is learning to portion properly and to eat a variety of things to fill you up.
Ok...
Now while I said pasta is not bad and that we don't necessarily have to give up certain foods in own diet, I know for me, there is still one thing that I love.....that I am not able to eat right now because its just too high in calories.....and that is my favourite macaroni & cheese! (and this is already a rework of a classic....but still high calorically....and so nummilicious!!)
But I don't have to mourn it forever.
aha moment #3
If you want to eat higher caloric food/meals.....then earn it by burning more calories daily.
This is like realizing you are short on cash and going to get some more money....but this is easier because its easier to burn more calories daily than it is to sometimes come up with the cash.
I have to admit that I was surprised, when I logged my first workout to My Food Diary, on Tuesday to discover that I had not burned a whole lot of calories in my 55 minutes briskly walking on the treadmill. I had only burned 212 calories. And it was a sad moment, indeed, when I realized that with my regular eating habits I was eating way too many calories......even if I calculated in the 212 I burned!!! Zoiks!!
On Wednesday, I logged in my second workout and discovered that even though I had worked a little harder, I still hadn't burned many more calories, much to my disappointment. I realized that this was going to take some time to build up to as I build up my fitness level and my muscle mass. (Slasher usually burns at least 700-800 calories just on the elliptical....but then again, he is going mach 12! LOL!) Later on Wednesday, I went out on a little walking trek to the public market and a couple of other places to get a bunch of groceries and things we needed. Altogether it probably took me around about an hour. When I got home, I logged my trek on My Food Dairy (its great because it has stuff like this as options because walking and hauling groceries burns calories!). I factored in the time it took to walk to different places, the steepness of the terrain (some up and down parts around here) and also the load I was hauling back from the stores (resistance training!)......and was pleased to discover that I had burned, on my trek, about the same amount of calories that I had burned on the treadmill that morning! By going out and doing something normal, I had doubled my calories burned that day! In total, I burned almost 500 calories that day! Yay for me!
On Thursday, I took a page from Wednesday and I went for another walking trek which earned me more calories...and for a second day, I burned close to 500 calories in one day!
And on Sunday, I did not work out in the gym. I had worked out for 5 days straight and my legs were feeling a bit tired so I decided to take a day off from the going down to the gym. As it was a nice day and as we needed some groceries (especially more fruit and veggies)...and that hubby wanted to break in his new runners AND test out his new Nike +, we decided to walk over the bridge to the public market, do our shopping, then walk back and go to the grocery store for the few items that we can't get at the market. We were gone 2 hours and according to his Nike + we walked 6 km (not including walking around the market and the grocery store as he turned off the Nike + while we were shopping). I figured I burned over 600 calories......for going to the market! (LOL...I burned more on my "day off" than I did the days I officially went to the gym!) And that certainly helped me burn off that yummy donair I ate at the market..LOL! :) After the market trek, we had a yummy dinner and I still had calories to spare!
You might be surprised if you open your eyes and see little ways each day that you can burn more calories. Taking the stairs is always the common one. Finding ways to burn more calories, through regular activities, is not hard and is a great option, to remember, if you are feeling forlorn about your food choices! :)
aha moment #4
I can so make this work!
The Vox Fitness Challenge starts this Monday, February 4th, at which point the Group will be going private.
If you do want to join the Challenge, then please make sure to get yourself on board BEFORE the 4th. This means that today and tomorrow (Sunday) are the last chances to join.
cheers~
Dee
Some of you, who are my neighbours, may have gotten a Group invite from me yesterday for a new Vox Group that I created: The Vox Fitness Challenge.
Inspiration:
I was inspired by Marie's post about how her hubby has started a 12 week fitness challenge at work and how she has jumped on the bandwagon....and plans on kicking her hubby's ass!
I have done 12 week fitness sprints before and since I have been procrastinating about getting my ass back in shape, this seemed like a really good idea to make a commitment to. And since I thought it was a good idea, I wondered how many other people would think it was a good idea, too,.........which from all the comments that Marie received, I knew there would be some in the same boat as me.
Doing something about getting in shape:
Getting in shape is something that takes slow and steady effort. It requires change and creating/maintaining some good habits. Motivation and staying on track is hard for most people as it is.....but even harder for a lot of people because they go the route alone. Statistics show that the people who work out with other people or have a workout/training buddy will stay more regular with their program than those who go it alone. It helps to have someone else to be accountable to other than yourself.
I know if its just me, I can fluff certain things off if I don't feel like it....but if I am accountable to report into someone else, I am more motivated not to look like a lame-ass during those time of weakness. Plus, its more fun to have "partners-in-crime" to be able to share with and encourage/support each other. Its important to have people to pull you up during the low times and people to hi-five during the high times. Its encouraging to know that your partner(s) are going through a lot of the same challenges you are. It really helps to know you aren't suffering alone.
Why a 12 week challenge?
It takes 22 days to create habit and usually takes 3-4 months for a regular fitness program to show some real results. A 12 week commitment is usually what you see for a lot of boot camps and programs you see in a lot of books.
I have done Oprah's boot camp, which is 12 weeks long, and you can get amazing results from that.....but it was not easy to maintain. Boot camps are great but can be a bit extreme for some....and require a big time commitment. A program is only as good as long as you are doing it and able to keep it up. This is why the how part of the challenge is totally up to you. I will be sharing different things from my knowledge and experience base....as I know will others, so if you need any ideas or advice, I know that there will be a lot of people there to share and help. And if we need more help/advice than that, I know more trainers than I can shake a stick at....and my hubby has a degree in kinesciology.
The challenge:
The challenge is totally voluntary and only if you really want to. I know its not for everyone and that is ok. I set it up for me and for anyone else who is up for such a thing. I already have a few neighbours who have signed up and also a couple of non-neighbours PM'ing to join.
If you want to join and you didn't get an invite, please PM me or comment on this...and I will send you one. I want to create a close, safe, non-judgemental environment for everyone on the challenge to share...so the Group will be going private as of February 4th, which is the start day of the challenge.
Non-judgemental:
We are all in different states of shapes, weights, and fitness levels. I don't think it matters where someone is coming from...it matters that you have a destination in mind..in view....and you are moving there. Slow and steady is the best. As long as you are moving, you will get there eventually...and that is the point.
Long term health and wellness should always be the long term vision.....and getting in shape helps that vision.
"But, I am really squeamish about sharing stats":
Yes, I am, too! But as I said in the Group description, you only have to report in, to the Group, a minimum of ONE stat at the start and then again at the end. It can be weight, measurements, clothing size, or % fat.
The reason I asked for stats is that this really creates an attitude that "I am serious about this" and a close environment/relationship with everyone in the Group. Some people like to share and some people don't......but when we all share, we are all on equal footing with each other and all feel together on this.
I know that some people will not join just because of this stipulation....and that is ok! No one will think less of you. Joining the challenge is a personal decision that you have to feel confident about....and only you can make that decision.
I want people in this Group who have the attitude of: enough is enough....let's kick some ass!!! :p
There are some days that live in your mind clear as a bell. For a lot of people, in North America, that day is September 11, 2001. Almost all those people’s memories are about the terrorist attacks in America that fateful morning. My memory of that day wasn’t about planes or terrorism, at least not on the forefront. I remember that day, clear as a bell, because it’s the day my mom died.
I rode the train into work that morning, per usual. I was totally clueless as to what was just occurring in the US as I had my CD player on. I turned my player off just as the train was hitting the downtown tunnel and I heard the radio mention something about a plane running into the World Trade Centre just before the train entered the tunnel and the radio signal was lost. I quickly ran to my office to find out more about what I had just heard on the radio.
While we were trying to find out more info, my desk phone rang. It was my sister. Sometime was up with Mom, who was back in the hospital since the previous day. She told me that the hospital had called early and our Dad was at the hospital. My sister wanted me to find out what was going on since the hospital was near my work and she lived just over 1 hour away.
My Mom had recently been re-admitted, a few days previously, to the hospital due to another infection. She had spent the good part of that year in the hospital due to her deteriorating condition. Her kidney disease was wreaking havoc all over her body. And for most of that time, she wasn’t even aware of what was going on. We had been thinking she would never come home from the hospital. But she did recover, and had been home for a couple of months when infection hit again. This infection was not happy news as that meant she would be put on hemo-dialysis which to her was a death sentence. She was happy on peritoneal dialysis because that meant she wasn’t tied down and she could travel. Because of this fear of the hemo-dialysis, my dad practically had to force her back into the hospital even though she had an infection that needed treating.
I decided to call the hospital and see if I could find out what was going. I was able to get put through to my mother’s ward and was able to speak to the doctor on duty. I remember her telling me a bunch of doctor/medical speak. The only phrase that stood out, like it was a neon sign, was “loss of brain stem reflex”.
I remember hearing that and the whole world felt like it went silent.
Do you ever ask questions that you already know the answer to but you hope that you get a different answer?
In almost surreal fashion, even at the time it was happening, I remember myself asking the doctor, point blank, that doesn’t loss of brain stem reflex mean the same thing as brain dead. She hesitated but answered the question with a yes.
In a fog, I called my sister and told her to get her ass down to the hospital. I said “no brain stem reflex” and she said “I’m on my way”.
My hubby picked me up and we went to the hospital together. It was near my office, but I couldn’t go alone. I remember the hospital parking lot being full so we parked on the street. What we didn’t know or even pay attention to, when we parked on the street, is that we would be there all day and our car would end up getting towed because the street we parked on had no parking during rush hour. Who thinks about their car when they are in an emergency situation?
I remember being at the hospital before any of my siblings and being there with my father and our family priest (he married my parents and they were long time friends) as we stood around my Mom’s hospital bed in ICU. I remember our priest giving my mother the last rites (for the 3rd or 4th time that year…you can never be too careful) and his old,frail, arthritic hands shaking so much that I ended up holding his bible for him so he could read the passages and do the oil sacrament, without much trouble. This made me feel useful for a few minutes.
I remember when everyone finally arrived and we are all around the bed. I remember sitting there holding my Mom’s hand and not really noticing anyone else in the room. It was surreal. As I held her hand, I swear I could hear her laughing. Not a mocking laugh, but a laugh of joy. I heard her voice saying, “Don’t worry about me. I am fine. I am free now.” It was weird…but it was all I could do to not smile sitting there holding her hand. It was like she had the last laugh, which was so like her.
The doctors talked to us all together in a meeting room. They wanted to talk to us about our “options”. They had her on a ventilator and they could keep her there for as long as we wanted. There was very little chance of her reviving. Ha! I wanted to laugh. Brain dead is dead. Why couldn’t they just say that? But I could see that not all my siblings and my dad were quite ready for my simplistic view on things…so I stayed quiet. They were still trying to process that my mom was doing fine up to a few days ago when she got an infection and then today she just stopped breathing and had to be put on a ventilator.
A ventilator keeps the body functioning, even if the brain is not functioning. As long as oxygen is pumping through, the heart keeps going. And as long as your heart is beating, you are considering “alive”. Turn off the ventilator, on someone whose brain is not functioning, and the heart winds down like a watch….until it beats no more.
I remember we all hung out together all through the afternoon and put off the inevitable. We all knew and agreed that the ventilator needed to be shut off….but not yet.
That afternoon, we just hung out, got some food, rescued our car, sat in the hospital’s rooftop garden, watched my brother’s kids play in the garden pond, talked about other things, and sometimes just sat in silence.
My brother’s kids were my parents only grandkids at this time. They were 5 and 3 at this time, and they had spent almost everyday of their lives with their grandparents. My Mom was a very big part of their lives. They knew my Mom was sick and had watched her get sicker and they had handled it well.
My brother and SIL debated over whether to bring the kids in to say good-bye to their Grandma. They even talked to a hospital counselor that afternoon about it. And, at the end of it all, they decided to have the kids say good-bye. They were told that Grandma was going to heaven and she was going to be with Jesus. And the kids handled it well…..they said good-bye but it wasn’t a big deal to them as they were still a bit young to understand the finality of it. Afterall, Grandma just looked like she was sleeping.
At 7:00pm, we gathered in a private room at the very far end of ICU. We all held hands around my Mom’s bed as the priest said some last prayers and the most wonderful nurse, Patrick, turned off my Mom’s ventilator. We all said our final good-byes and kissed my mom one last time.
I remember my Dad holding my Mom’s hand until the very last heartbeat.
As we left the room, my brother’s 5 year old daughter asked if they could go visit Grandma in heaven. Very gently, my SIL explained that no, they were not going to be able to visit Grandma. It was then that my niece understood the finality of the situation and let out the most sorrowful moans of pain as she cried on my SIL’s shoulder as we walked the length of the corridor that led out of ICU.
All the doctors and nurses, in the ICU, stood up, came to the windows, and watched us leave the ward. They all had tears streaming down their faces as they watched the group of us leave. It’s an image that I doubt I will ever forget.
Its been six years, Mom, and I will always miss you!
I am betting that heaven has never been so organized and that you are on all the committees.
Is Jesus a good dancer? I know you would know! :)
September 12, 1934 ~ September 11, 2001
“ Some people move our souls to dance.
They stay in our lives for awhile;
Leave footprints on our hearts,
……...And we are never the same. “
Its been a busy past week, so I want to apologize for being a bit off/up/down this last while. There is lots of family drama going on outside of the normal routine!
This may seem a bit disjointed and long…but I have to get it out of my brain so I can sleep! :)
First we have my brother and his family moving all the way across the country in a few weeks. This is huge for my family as we have always lived in the same area together….all our lives. My dad still lives in the same house that we grew up in. And most of our extended family lives in the area as well.
Some people are taking the move well and some aren’t. He is moving because of his job. He had a choice to go or not. But if he stayed here, he had to find another job because they were eliminating the position out here (he is a territory manager). By moving to the east he will get a promotion and more money, which is good. But moving away from all your family and friends is harder than one thinks!
My SIL has never even lived outside of the same 15 km radius she grew up in!!! But she is keen to move out east where housing prices are half of what they are here. She really wants to be able to afford to buy a house. But all her family and most of her friends are here. She is very close to my dad, her FIL. And she is very close to her own dad. And her mother has cancer and is dying. Decisions, decisions, decisions……….
My brother and his wife decided to move and see if they like it out east. Their kids are not exactly keen about the move, but when you are 9 and 11, you don’t have much choice! I am going to miss them all so much….we all are :( And right there is where some people are taking the move well and some aren’t.
I told my brother that if he feels that this is the best decision for them, then I totally support them. Its their life and they have to make their own decisions. Do I want them to move? No. But its their life to live. Unfortunately, not everyone feels this way…..some people don’t understand why they are moving and won’t support it until they understand and agree with it. This frustrates me! Why do some people think that others need their approval to live their lives? And, of course, all this discourse is adding to their stress of moving and moving away from loved ones. Family Drama 101: Trying to Live Your Own Life!!
And then today we had a memorial service for my husband’s Grandmother. She was 93 and for the past 3 years she didn’t even know who she was or who anyone else was and had no short term memory. (side note – I never want to get to that point so if I do, please just shoot me or wash my hair and put me out in the cold…or something….) But today we celebrated her life and remembered for her.
She lived a tough life during tough times of a tough era. Born at the beginning of the century – a child during the depression – she worked hard in Dawson Creek during tough times – married young to an older man – was widowed suddenly just before her 25th wedding anniversary – remarried and worked the farming life in Alberta – was widowed a second time just before her 25th wedding anniversary – fiercely independent and always believed in working hard – was a tough, tough critic but was always there when the chips were down.
I, personally, only knew her as a tough, cranky old bird! My husband said she was pretty much always like that. She wasn’t the warm and fuzzy type but she was a hard worker, very disciplined, and always did what she said she was going to do.
But it was something the pastor said today that really got me reflecting. He talked about how she was so many things through her life…..many things to many people. She was a baby, a toddler, a school girl, a school chum, a teenager, a young wife, a friend, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother….to name a few. It really made me think that so often we only think of people in the one-dimensional context of how we know them and often overlook all the other roles they play and have played. We are all many things to many people. I was suddenly thinking of everyone differently.
I thought of this again when my husband and I were chatting on the way home tonight. He said he was reflecting on how different the service today was compared to my own mother’s funeral almost 6 years ago. Today’s service was very small and intimate….and very short. (my in-laws are not religious people) By contrast, my mother’s funeral 6 years ago was attended by almost 800 people (there actually would have been more, believe it or not, as there were some people away, or unable to attend, or didn’t hear about it in time) and was longer as it was a funeral mass.
I have to admit I laughed when my husband made the comment about how different the 2 funerals were, especially in size. First and foremost, I told him, that his grandmother is now with most of her friends since a lot of them predeceased her! (they are playing bridge right now! Lol!) She was 93, after all! And their family is pretty small. And she only moved to this area when she was unable to no longer take care of herself and my husband’s mother wanted her closeby. This means that a lot of people she knew, in the past, were from far, far away from here, if they were even still alive.
I then made the point to my husband that when my mother passed away, she was much younger than my husband’s Grandmother. This meant that most of her friends were still alive! My mom was a teacher and had been a teacher for most of her adult life….so that also counted for some big numbers. And we have a large family!
I concluded my point in saying that just because the sizes of these 2 funerals were drastically different did not mean anything. 2 different women at 2 different stages in their lives. It did not mean one was less and one was more. Just as the pastor said today, they were both many different things to many different people. They both affected and influenced many lives in many different ways.
And in taking that thought further………… its not how we begin our lives or even how we end our lives that is so important……it’s how we live the middle part. The middle part, between being born and dying, is where we do the living – where we make our choices – where we make out stands - where we play all our different roles – and is the legacy we leave and is what we are remembered for..... when the time comes for the people we love to celebrate our lives.
Let us not be afraid of loss.
Loss is an illusion, for nothing ever gets lost in the universe.
Its only changes form.
Therefore, we cannot lose anything.
It its always with us - just in another form.
We may lose the warmth of the summer, but we gain the harvest and beauty of the autumn.
We may lose the strength of youth, but we gain the wisdom of age.
~ author unknown
