36 posts tagged “funny”
.....when someone says "Let's go for a drink" ??
*note...this joke is best to be read/told aloud....using a soft southern drawl as it was told to me! :) And the punchline will only make sense if you say it aloud.
A group of southern belles were gathered together for one May afternoon and for a bit of fun, one of the belles (Anna-belle) decided to start up a game with the other ladies.
Anna-belle: Ladies, let's go round in a circle and I want you to tell me....if you had to name your boyfriend after a soda-pop, what would you call him? Lulu-belle you go first.
Lulu-belle: Well, If I had to name my boyfriend after a soda-pop, I believe I would call him........Mountain Dew.
Annabelle: Okay....now Trixie-belle, if you had to name your boyfriend after a soda-pop, what would you call him?
Trixie-belle: Well....I believe I would call him.....7-up.
Annabelle: Now Mary-belle, you tell us......what kind of soda-pop would name your boyfriend after?
Mary-belle: Amaretto
Now Mary-belle was known for bit on the strange side so in all their genteel-ness, the other belles decided to overlook Mary-belle's strange answer that didn't quite make any sense, given the question. They quickly moved on to the next belles in the circle for their answers to Anna-belle's question.
Once all the belles in the circle answered Anna-belle's question, Anna-belle asked another question to the ladies.
Anna-belle: Now ladies, let's go around one more time and this time, why don't you tell us all why you named your boyfriend after the soda-pop you chose. Lulu-belle, why is your boyfriend called Mountain Dew?
Lulu-belle: Well.....he is always mounting and doing me....all the time!
Anna-belle nods, knowingly.
Anna-belle: Okay....Trixie-belle, why is your boyfriend called 7-up?
Trixie-belle: My boyfriend is called 7-up because he is 7 inches straight up!
Anna-belle nods knowingly, again. She then turns to Mary-belle with a confused look on her face.
Anna-belle: Now, Mary-belle, why is your boyfriend called Amaretto? That isn't a soda-pop. Isn't that some kind of fine liquor?
Mary-belle nods, knowingly.
Believe it or not....my co-workers Grandmother told her this!! LOL! :p
I am probably going to hell for laughing at someone else's misfortune......but, this is just toooooo funny. I get tears in my eyes from laughing when I watch this. LOL!
*warning - don't try this at home, folks! Just say no! LOL!
hehe....my favourite is the check box at the bottom left corner (of the note) :p
I saw this on ICHC today....and apparently the word is out! :p
....now go put some pants on! k thx! :p
And I swear that I didn't make this....check the site and you will see this! hahaha! :p
Ever since I was told by my Chinese medicine doc, the other day, to only drink/eat hot things, I have been feeling a bit out of sorts when I go out because I often take a water bottle with cool water in it. On the weekend, I had a flash of inspiration to get a Starbucks hot liquid tumbler so I can carry around hot water or some sort of hot drink so I don't go thirsty and/or have to pay money to buy a drink. I was going to be buying a new water bottle anyway since my current water bottle is the nalgene kind that has that bad toxin in it.
I ended up buying a 16 oz customizable tumbler since I didnt like any of their wierd pre-fab designs. I thought I could put something cool on it like quotes or inspirational sayings. Today, I had a flash of brilliance and decided on a design to make me smile and giggle!
Yes....it is an ICHC-inspired design. Me likey! :)
(*excuse messy desk in first pic)
:)
Afterthought: I was just thinking that this kind of thing would make a great gift! I will have to remember this for birthdays and at Christmas. It's totally easy! :)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire
3. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
