I got this from LaidoutinLavender who got tagged by a new neighbour of hers.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I had just finished my first year of marriage and a year where we were both unemployed. I was just starting my first job in a year. I was also mourning the passing of my paternal grandmother who raised me in the years before grade 1.
2. Five (non-work) things on my to-do list today?
(1) 9am-3pm Holy Spirit Day at the church
(2) 7pm church service
(3) call my dad
(4) do a load of laundry
(5) read a chapter in my book of study
3. snacks I enjoy
- dark, dark chocolate with crystalized ginger
- licorice allsorts
- hot buttered movie popcorn (at the theatre)
- hot, salted yam fries
4. Things I would do if I was an billionaire
The big question I have about this one is if I am a billionaire because of one large windfall or am I a billionaire that has an ongoing revenue stream? To cover my bases on this one, I am going to say that the first thing I am going to do is set some money up to create a revenue stream so I can keep being a billionaire.
After that, I would erase all my debt and the debt of those in my family.
I would buy a jet. Commercial air travel sucks. The jet would be at the disposal of me and my family.
I would buy several homes around the world for myself that my family and friends would be welcome to use if they travel to those locales. One of the properties would be acreage somewhere, on a body of water, that I would build a family "compound" where everyone in my family would have their own house that is not within sight of the other houses...so, in other words, we can all stay on the same property but not be in each other's hair!
I would make sure that each of my family owns their homes outright with no debt.
I would take care of dad...totally and completely.
I would set up education funds for all my nieces and nephews (and children, if I had any) so that whatever education they want, they can go do it without worrying about the costs.
I would fund programs and mission trips for my church.
I would set up and/or fund and/or help fund some of the dialysis programs in my city, most particularly at St. Pauls (downtown and where my mom was cared for and passed away in) and Lions Gate Hospital (the one I was born in and close to where my parents lived but didn't have a program at the time my mom needed it)
I would set up and/or fund urban programs for the homeless in my city.
I would set up and/or fund education programs and supplies for children (especially girls) in third world countries.
I would fund programs in third world countries where they provide them with seeds, bees, livestock, and other things that help them to become self sufficient.
I would set up an annual charity fund for each of my nieces and nephews (and children, if I had any)....that they would work with me each year to decide what to do with that money and who to give it to and/or fund with it.
....that's off the top of my head, to start. I am sure I would think of other things (mainly funding charities and giving back). To whom much is given, much is required.
5. Places I have lived
I have lived my whole in the Vancouver area. I was born in North Vancouver and lived there until I got married. When I first got married, we lived in Burnaby. After a few years, we moved to Surrey. After a few more years, we moved Coquitlam. And then a couple of years ago, we moved to downtown Vancouver.
6. Jobs I have had
My first job was a busser, then a hostess, and then a bartender...all at the same restaurant. Then I was a receptionist at a health club/lounge. Then I went to work for an insurance company as a file clerk and then moved into more of a data entry/assistant type role. Then I worked in reception/admin/sales for a high end hair care line. After that, I worked for an administrator of extended car warranties where I started out processing policies and then moved into accounts receivable and collections. And after that, I worked for an insurance advisory company on an government earthquake inspection project where I was processing earthquake inspections done on schools and health care facilites in our province. And then..after that I went to work for a third party administrator of employee benefits where I was an enrollment specialist. And then I got injured and haven't worked for the past 4 years.
7. Tag others
If you are bored, the feel free to tag yourself! :p
Who was the meanest teacher you had in school?
Sister Gordon. Grades 8 and 9 english and math.
She was seriously disturbed.
If you got an answer wrong, her response was "what is wrong with you?"
And she told us ALL the time how she wanted to created a device that sat on her desk and was hooked up to each student's desk that would deliver an electric current to each student when they got a wrong answer. Nice, huh?
You could say she was a little overdue for the nun retirement home!
I heard she eventually had a mental breakdown, years later. So not surprised.
Who helped make you the cool person you are today?
Submitted by Amy - Sister Brown Hair Surprise.
haha.....that's making the big assumption that I am cool! :p I'm so not cool and am a total dork.
May 24th, 2007 was when I put up my first post and totally forgot to celebrate my first Voxiversay last Saturday!
And yes, you eagle-eyes, I joined Vox on September 8th, 2006....and yes, it took me 8.5 months to write my first post! I had never blogged or written regularly before so it took me a while, starting in May, to get into a writing groove. A lot of my first posts were posting things other people had written. It's been a year of ups and downs....and an interesting learning curve! :)
Some highlights from my first month posting on Vox:
First post - about fear
Third post - makes me laugh because I am still addicted and haven been through the levels about 7 times! So sad...! :p
Fifth post - and also my first motivational/inspirational/positive post (for which I have a bit of a reputation for)
Eighth post - haha...about dealbreakers in a relationship! I guess I need to spend some time reviewing these! haha!
random thoughts - I have no idea what # post this is (but is within first month)
a burning answer to a question most of you want to know - I actually posted this to "anyone"...wow!
one of my personal favourite posts - unfortunately now its very bittersweet....but I still love the feeling I get when I read it!
something I need to read daily - it should be my mantra
And so I am not just tooting my own rusty horn, here are some of my first "favourited" items from other Voxers:
5 principles for happiness in 2007
A.A.A.D.D. - one of my all-time personal favourites!! :p
It's been a great year of blogging and I have made some great Vox friends and I have a pretty cool neighbourhood....so thanks everyone for making Vox a great place to be! :)
xoxoxoxo
Dee
I finally just saw the movie Juno.
It was totally offbeat and I loved it! :) It was way funnier than I expected.
And I did not know that it was filmed HERE in the Vancouver area! Wow! The mall scene was filmed in a mall (Coquitlam Centre) that my husband worked in for about 4 years and I know that damn place like the back of my hand because I met him there almost every day and we lived nearby, at that time........so that scene was kinda trippy.
If you haven't seen it, you should check it out!
H&M opened up in downtown Vancouver yesterday and today I "popped" in for a look-see....and OMG....WALL-TO-WALL people!!!!! Total craziness! I have never seen so many people in one store...even on Boxing Day or other crazy shopping holidays.
Holy crowd control, Batman! :)
With the funky lighting, the club music, and the thick crowds, it had a bit of a nightclub feel to the whole scene. I felt the urge to yell for a waitress to go get me a chocolate martini! woot! :)
Hey Mr DJ.....play my &*%$*# song!!
Since we seem to have skipped Spring and gone into Summer, there isn't a whole lot of transition time to get right into Summer mode....and I got reminded, this past weekend, of a few things that I seem to forget and go through almost every year during this transition. In that regard, I thought I would share these things with you. Things we all know but sometimes overlook or forget.
1. Sunblock and preventing sunburn
This is a no-brainer from the "do" stand-point. However, some other things to remember are these:
- Be prepared when you going to be outside, going to the beach, going to the park, etc. Keep a bottle in your beach bag or sport bag.
- Check expiry dates on bottles in your cupboard and buy fresh stuff when needed. Trust me when I say that you don't want to be a cheapskate with respect to the effectiveness of your sunblock....the risks are too high. The expiry date is on the bottle for a reason and you don't want to be playing "beat the clock" with the UV rays and your skin.
- Apply sunblock before going outside.....and in some cases, when you can, apply before you get dressed. This way you will spend more time putting it on right so you don't end up missing spots and burning in wierd places. Doing your "first coat" before you go out also ensures that you do get it on yourself and don't forget or put off doing it once you get where you are going.
- Remember odd places on your body like your ears, your ankles, tops of your feet, back of your hands, etc. You don't want to be reminded of these places by getting a sunburn there especially since these are sensitive areas.
- Faces are incredibly important to remember to put sunblock onto. Most women's daily facial moisturizers have sunblock in them, which is really good for backup and every day protection. If you can, get a sunblock specifically for the face and which has a high SPF and has some zinc in it. Our faces need more protection than our bodies. If you don't want to age prematurely, then always remember your face......every day whether its sunny or not.
- If you are outside for long periods, reapply sunblock often...depending on your activity. If you are doing sports (and sweating) or in the water, reapply at least every 60 minutes. It's a pain to do...but a sunburn is more painful. I have a sport spray sunblock to use in a pinch when I may not have time to spend with lotion. (the spray is also cooling) Just get yourself into a habit and then it won't bother you that much and it will become just routine.
- Drink LOTS of water! The sun is sucking the hydration out of skin so you must keep adding hydration back. Hydration helps your skin protect itself. Dryer skin is more likely to burn. (* If you are picky about water, then check this stuff out. If you want to know more, then just PM me!)
2. Aloe and treating sunburn
- Aloe gel or aloe straight from the plant is what everyone should put on their skin straight away after being outside for long periods in the sun. You may not be burned but you skin has received damage whether its visible or not. Aloe is soothing to the skin and has healing properties. If you are burned or suspect you are, then slap copious amounts of that stuff on your skin....and do it often.
- If you have a sunburn that is painful, in addition to aloe, try cool compresses to take the heat out of your skin. The sun literally cooks the proteins in your skin and that is where the latent heat in your skin comes from. Some people believe that putting cool compresses with skim milk on the skin will help as the milk puts a protective protein film on your skin. ( I haven't tried the milk thing but have heard it works)
- If you need to, take ibuprofen or acetaminaphene to help with the pain
- Drink LOTS of water! Sunburn is a sign of dehydration and your body is needing to be hydrated just like a plant that has wilted in the sun. If you are feeling tired, that is a sure sign of dehydration. (* If you are picky about water, then check this stuff out. If you want to know more, then just PM me!)
- Take some antioxidants like vitamin C. Sun damage causes many free radicals to be formed and they can do mucho damage to your cells. Taking extra antioxidants helps curtail these little bandits and their nefarious plans! :)
3. Preventing blisters (on your feet)
Blisters can happen any time of the year, but summer is, IMO, a time when I know I get more blisters than any other time of the year. I think its because we are wearing flip flops and sandals in hot weather...and we are out walking and hiking more often. And if you are female, its time to wear all our cute shoes which we don't wear much any other time...so our feet aren't used to them.
- If you are going to be wearing shoes with no socks or stockings, then keep your feet well lotioned. It's the dried out foot that seems to get more blisters. A good warning sign is if the bottoms of your feet are feeling "scorched" while wearing shoes. If you are feeling this, then its a good chance some blisters are forming or about to be formed.
- If you are wearing cute new shoes then be realistic and carry an extra set with you, JIC. I often carry a small pair of ballarina flats to save my feet when my new shoes start to hurt. This is also prudent with those cute shoes you don't wear very much. Don't let your vanity over-ride your self preservation....as there is nothing pretty or cute about blisters!
- When hiking, make sure you wear proper socks that are NOT cotton. Cotton rubs and moves too much which causes blisters. There are lots of great socks out there that are more suited to hiking and to not causing blisters.
- Wear new hikers or running shoes around your house for a while to break them in before taking them on long walks/runs. This way your feet gets used to them and your also get an idea where/if they rub.
4. Treating blisters (on your feet)
I used to think that once you got blisters on you feet, you were in for a week from hell as you waited for those things to heal up. I used to think that until last year when I got some really BAD blisters one night and Shush gave me her advice for treating blisters. I tried her remedy and it worked like AMAZING....and it's now my fail-safe remedy for blisters that can get you up and going in no time.
Shush's remedy is easy. You must soak your feet in really salty water with a whole bunch of baking soda. That's it.....BUT, in my experience, it's best to start out with hot water and then let your feet soak as long as possible. And when I say long, I mean like several hours. I tried for an hour on the weekend and it didn't quite do the trick. The next day I did it for 2 hours and it did the trick. All I do is put the tub of water under my desk (on a towel) and I sit at the computer and work for the several hours with my feet happily soaking away.
With this remedy, you won't see results straight out of the water. Wait overnight or a few hours (after soaking) and you will notice that your blisters have dried right up. And if you are doing this in the evening, then after soaking put a whole lot of lotion on your feet with thick socks and go to sleep like that. You will wake up with nicely lotioned feet that have no blisters! woot!!
And if you are wondering, I have done this with the NASTIEST of blisters and it works fabulous!
Be safe out there everyone....and enjoy the fabulous weather! :p
Show us your mother.
I don't have that many pictures of my mom here with me. Most of them are at my dad's. These are some I have and are ones that I love.
Here is a strip of pictures that were taken circ 1958 when she was engaged to my dad. They got married December 27, 1958. If she was still alive, this year would be their 50th anniversary. (she passed away in 2001)
And here is a picture of her and my dad in 1959 after they got married and she was pregnant with my eldest brother.
For some strange reason, I love the "arty"-ness of this picture that was taken of her napping....circa 1958-59. I have always been drawn to the peacefulness of this picture.
And here is a picture of my mom and dad taken in the early to mid 1990's. I am thinking it was about 5 years before her passing? She always had the biggest smile.
I thought this was really well written. Please feel free to pass on to anyone you know who is getting married or considering getting married.
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Making Marriage Last: A Guide to Preventing Divorce © 1997-2000 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) Here's Some Good News: If you’re courageous enough to pick up this booklet, you’ve taken the first step toward making your marriage work. That you are willing to learn what is needed to make a successful marriage means that you believe in marriage as a lifelong commitment. It may strike you as odd that a group of people who make a living off of failed marriages would write a booklet about divorce avoidance. After all, if every couple stayed together until death did they part, none of us would have jobs. Unfortunately, we all know that not every marriage makes it through thick and thin and that we, as matrimonial lawyers, will always have work. We will continue to see thousands of men and women walk through our doors wanting out of a marriage. We’ll still hear every sad story. We’ll still see couples who split up because times are bad and divorce seems like the next step. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a non-profit association of attorneys who are experts in family law, was established in 1962. During the last few decades, our 1,500 members have learned a lot about marriage and the pitfalls of divorce. The information provided in this booklet evolved from a comprehensive survey of our members on what they see as the most common factors leading to divorce. Our members know that divorce isn’t always the answer. Though some marriages should be abandoned – for reasons such as physical or sexual abuse or other intolerable situations – many “unsalvageable” unions can be saved. If you are willing to devote some time and energy to identifying and correcting the problems in your marriage, chances are, you can avoid the financially and emotionally draining process of divorce. Please treat this booklet as merely an introduction to the process of working on your marriage. In addition to the tips and information contained here, your library or local bookstore contains a wealth of information, as does the Internet. We have included a sampling of books on marriage, as well as a list of support groups and organizations aimed at helping marriages. Couples should also not be afraid to seek professional help from a trained marriage and family therapist. Churches and synagogues are also good resources for family support. It takes time and energy to strengthen a weakened marriage. But it can be done. And we hope this booklet helps. In fact, we hope we never see you again! Why Marriages Fail Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others. They are:
There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above They Are:
Communication Poor communication is often the catalyst for all other marital problems. Unfortunately, the simple act _of saying “I do” doesn’t turn a spouse into a mind reader. _So couples must share their thoughts and feelings or they risk losing touch with what is important in their marriage. Direct communication is always best. As the old saying goes: Mean what you say, say what you mean. If you want or need something, tell your spouse. If your spouse is doing something that bothers you, tell him or her why it bothers you and what you would like your spouse to do about it. As with all communication, however, the secret is in the delivery. Never be accusatory or disrespectful. If your spouse reacts badly to something you’ve said, it’s possible that he or she did not understand what you meant. Before you overreact, take time to find out what your spouse thinks you meant, and, if necessary, explain what it is you were trying to say. Arguments are a legitimate way to communicate, but the arguments must be based on a person’s actions or words, not what one side imagines is motivating the other side. Arguments are also okay when they are fair, honest disputes about family policy or priorities. Personal attacks against your spouse are disrespectful and they get in the way of real discussion about important matters. Some communication problems may be the result of the different ways men and women tend to communicate. Each sex often expects a particular response when they say something, and some are surprised or offended when they get something else. Women often want their feelings acknowledged, while men want to fix things, to solve problems. For example, a wife who complains about her terrible day at work probably wants empathy, not a discussion about what she should have done to avoid it. Alternatively, a husband who asks his wife where she wants to go for dinner probably wants an answer, not a vague response that “anything is fine.” It is dangerous to react to your spouse with anger. Anger impairs judgment and impedes communication. When people get angry, they may be speechless, or they may cry, yell, stomp out of the room, run away, or throw things. Some may even beat their spouse or children. None of this conduct helps a marriage thrive. It does not resolve disputes; it simply intimidates the other person. Communication Do’s and Don’ts Focus on solving the problem instead of winning the argument; Listen with an open mind to make sure you understand what your spouse means instead of launching into an unnecessary argument; Explain yourself if you feel you have been misunderstood; Respect each other’s opinion, even if you can’t find an immediate solution to the problem; Spend time discussing problems and issues you each think are important; Be quick to forgive, quick to forget; Be sincere. Your words may say one thing, but your body language may convey something completely different; Don’t talk in code. Say what you mean, and say it respectfully; Don’t go to sleep before resolving a conflict; Don’t talk to your spouse in a rude, disparaging way; Don’t criticize your spouse in front of others; Don’t let anger cloud your judgment about the proper way to speak to and treat your spouse; Don’t start arguments based on things that happened long ago; Don’t assume that your spouse is personally attacking you just because he or she disagrees with you. Financial Problems No matter how rich or how poor a couple is, one of the constant subjects of marital disagreement is money. Whether it’s over how money is earned, spent or saved, money fights are common because money is a part of daily life, from paying the electric bill to saving for retirement. Attitudes toward money are learned in childhood. When spouses are raised with widely differing attitudes toward money, conflict is inevitable. The key is for couples to discuss their views on money and to decide among themselves how they will make decisions about how the family money will be controlled. It is probably not a good idea to have one spouse in complete control of all family assets. That’s not to say that a spouse with a particular skill in managing money should not use that skill, but that spouse should always discuss with the other spouse what he or she is doing. There are several ways you may decide to divvy up the responsibility. Some couples keep their earnings separate but agree in advance who will pay what bills. Some couples put every penny of their financial lives into a joint account. Financial togetherness can be as intense or as separate as the parties wish. As long as the goals and attitudes toward money are shared, the mechanics of fiscal management are less important. Managing The Marital Money Here are some ways to prevent money-management disputes from destroying a marriage:
Lack of Commitment Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, a pledge to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship together. If couples look at matrimony as a job they can quit or an apartment they can break the lease on, their marriage is headed for trouble. Spouses have to agree that keeping the marriage healthy is their top priority. To do that, they have to commit time and energy to it. Both spouses should be as concerned with the welfare of each other as they are with themselves. Devoting time to one’s marriage can require some tough decisions, such as turning down challenging work assignments that would take away from “couple time,” spending less time with friends, leaving the office even when duty calls, etc. But it can also be as simple as having a weekly “date night.” Though unexpected events, such as death of a family member or loss of a job, happen to everyone, these events should not be used as an excuse to ignore one’s commitment to their marriage. Committed couples who deal with unexpected problems together actually strengthen their marital bonds. Do you lack commitment to your marriage? Are you a “workaholic”? Do you spend so much time at work (or at your volunteer job) that you miss important family functions? Do you rationalize the excessive time you spend at work by saying it’s “for the family”? Have you physically or emotionally abused your spouse? Are you so hung up on having control over everything that you lash out to keep your spouse in line? Do you spend hours and hours meeting strangers on the Internet? Do you complain about your spouse in anonymous chat rooms? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may lack the necessary commitment to keep your marriage afloat. These aren’t the only situations, but they are ones we see a lot. Workaholics use work as an excuse to avoid conversation and intimacy with their spouse. Abusers use threats and violence to make sure they always get what they want. Internet junkies shut their spouses out by talking to strangers about marital problems. If you notice yourself in these scenarios, it’s time to recommit yourself to your marriage. Changes in Priorities The most common change in priorities comes during a “mid-life crisis." Fearing the transition into older age or more responsibility (such as having children), many people push aside all that they have valued in exchange for something new, exciting or completely opposite. But there are other reasons for changed priorities: children going to college, which can often prompt stay-at-home moms to re-evaluate their lives in their children’s absence; a deteriorating sex life; major health problem; the completion of a longtime goal; or death of a parent or child. Any of these things can make a person feel the need to break away from their “routine” as a way to get back what they feel they have lost. Once again, the key is communication. Couples need to discuss their priorities and their expectations, and what they hope to achieve in the future. And they should do this not just on their honeymoon, but throughout their marriage. Even if they don’t always agree on the specifics of the new priorities, an open line of communication will facilitate a resolution as well as prevent unpleasant surprises. Infidelity The sad fact is that that some people will risk their entire marriage for the sake of an extramarital affair. But infidelity is rarely the only reason a couple breaks up. Usually, a couple has a host of other problems and infidelity is simply “the last straw.” The expectations and priorities of a spouse who commits the adultery may have shifted, as discussed above. A cheating spouse may find comfort in the arms of someone else when the other spouse has stopped communicating. Neither scenario is an excuse, but spouses who have extramarital affairs pick an inappropriate way to fulfill a need that’s not being met at home. The spouse who is betrayed may feel humiliated. Children sense these feelings and may worry that the unfaithful parent will someday betray or abandon them in the same way. In addition to the emotional toll on the family, extramarital affairs also present health risks, such as AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases that can cause infertility or death to an unsuspecting spouse. Not all couples split up after infidelity. Some may be able, after a great deal of time and effort, to repair the broken bonds. If staying together is an option, a marriage counselor will be of enormous help in making the transition. The Journey to Happiness It has been said that most of life’s happiness, and most of its misery, emanate from one’s marriage. Spouses in a happy marriage are more productive on the job, are physically healthier and experience less emotional stress than their unhappily married counterparts. They also raise happier, healthier, more confident children who themselves go on to have happy marriages. With so much riding on it, it makes sense for couples to make their marriage their number one priority. We hope that the information provided here helps couples begin the journey to their own happiness. Improving Your Marriage Treat your spouse like your best friend or most important colleague. Don’t expect to get more from your spouse than you give of yourself. Don’t lose your sense of humor;have fun with your spouse. Don’t demean your spouse in public or in private. Learn to listen, learn to hear. Learn to argue respectfully. Look for resolution rather than victory. Assess your own mistakes and acknowledge them. When you apologize, mean it, and sound like it. Be short on blame and long on forgiveness. Be willing to change your opinions and attitudes. Look at changes in your life as an opportunity to grow. Don’t try to change your spouse; accept your spouse “as is.” |
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Questions or comments to Stephen J. Harhai, Editor |
