QotD: Grown-Up Boot Camp

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do? 
Submitted by bookishbiker.

Hmmm... what do I want to learn....

I want to learn to not want to get a gun and shoot the ignorant a**holes who go to the club across the alley and wander around the area drunk and yelling/screaming all night long on weekends. (don't even get me started on what I want to do to them for peeing in the alley....) 

I want to learn not to want to scream at my upstairs neighbour who sounds like he has been renovating for over a frickin year...jeez hire a professional, dipwad!! (sometimes it sounds like he is going to drill his way into our place...)

I want to learn not to want to slap people who humiliate their kids or their spouses in public.

I want to learn not to cry for or to laugh at those people who think that spending all their money on lottery tickets is the key to living large in their "golden" years. (we're going to win next time!) (statistically most people who win the lottery are broke within 5 years)

I want to learn not to want to strangle those people who b*tch and whine about everything and do nothing to change their situation or themselves. (its somehow a mystery to them that the world has not given them all they feel entitled to have)

I want to learn to not want to b*tch slap those neglectful parents who are raising the devil's spawn, who, in grade school, are such socio-pathic bitter kids that they have become pure bullies who lie, cheat, manipulate, and make other kids feel insignificant. (and these kids often masquerade as nice looking little boys and girls) Since when do grade schoolers worry about whether they are fat or not.....or worse, worry about their own safety in school? 

.....gooooooooose-fraaabaaa.......maybe I need some Anger Mangement!!!!

Seriously, though.................I have so many things I want to learn.

Some ones off the top of my head, that I want to learn:

1. guitar - I really want to learn to play. I know its cliche but I really want to.  I have a guitar fund already and  I have a friend who is a guitar teacher.  Music replenishes my spirit and I love sitting around with friends who play the guitar and jamming/singing. It would be nice to be able to do that whenever I want.

2. to carry a tune - I want to take voice lessons. I love to sing, love music, and know all the words.  I have enthusisasm and just need some help as I am a bit off key.  I have been told that I would be a good singer if I could just maintain the right key

3. I want to learn to use my new camera (Sony H9) like a pro and also to learn more about taking great shots in the manual settings.  I eventually want an SLR camera but I need my skills to be more profficient first.

(**  I know it said only 3....but I don't like following rules....)

4. I want to learn to have better faith in myself and believe in myself as much as my hubby does.

5. I want my body to learn to have a baby....... I am totally serious. 

Let me explain: My doctor told me that it seems sometimes that some women's bodies need to learn how to have a baby and then they have no problem having their second and third kids.  There are plenty of examples of women who take years to get pregnant the first time but after that have no challenges getting pregnant again.  I have been married 10 years and my body apparently needs some schooling.  I checked my community centre but, sadly, no classes. 

(** I also want to learn how not to be rude to those people who we meet and who find out that we have been married 10 years and that we don't have kids - and they automatically assume that since we don't have kids...we did it on purpose!.....and have the gall to ask "so why did you guys decide not to have kids? talk about an assumptive and extremely personal question for someone you just met!!! good grief!)

6. I want to learn to live in a clutter free environment. My mother was a pack-rat and that is so hard to escape.  Your upbringing really screws with what you "feel" is normal.  I hate clutter but its still a part of my life.  And its not about being better organized.  Ask Dwarf, I am one of the most organized people you will ever meet.  As I read recently in Peter Walsh's book, "Its All Too Much", it has more to do with your emotional connection to your stuff than it is about being organized.  Excellent book.  My next step is to practice what I read in the book and learn to incorporate it in my life and our home.

It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff

Peter Walsh

Now....what I can teach......well....I guess that depends on how bad someone wants to learn.  You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make him drink if he isn't thirsty.  When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

ok, I know, I know, enough stalling......RELAX! I AM THINKING.......hmmmm....

1.  cooking - I am not the iron chef but I have some great skills and have taught some people to be great cooks. Too me its all about getting a feel for things, not being afraid to experiment, having fun, and having confidence. I am great at timing things, when you are cooking a meal, so that everything is ready at the same time.

2.  budgetting - one of the least fun things in the world but important to learn....and to follow.

3. organizing an event - I almost became an professional event planner

I am sure there is more....but thats all for today, folks!!