21 Things I would loved to have told my 13 year old self
I was inspired by Patricia's post to write a couple of "letters" to my younger self.
This is the first which is to me at age 13.
21 Things I would loved to have told my 13 year old self
1) Stop worrying so much about trying to impress people you don’t like. Being popular and/or pretty/handsome, does not always equal a nice person. Nor does it mean they have it all together. Plus we are all a little dorky during our teen-age years so don't feel so self conscious. You may not believe it, but some of those popular, pretty people feel just as dorky as you, despite being blessed gene-wise! And a lot of the dorky people in high school will grow up to be pretty cool people later on.
2) Be better about staying in touch with your friends, even if you don’t go to the same schools anymore or you move apart. You never realize how much you appreciate someone until they are gone and out of your life.
3) Be adamant about getting eye-glasses, sooner rather than later, despite what the quack eye doctor said. Not being able to see the black board for 3 years is not a “cry for attention” but actually an inability to see and a real need for eye-glasses. You will fall further behind in school if this is not remedied.
4) Don’t be so shy. See #18.
5) Get yourself checked out for dyscalculia and dyslexia. Despite what keeps getting yelled at you, you are not stupid nor do not have a massive mental block when it comes to algebra, english grammar, and french grammar. You just learn different and the sooner you figure this out, the better for your education and most importantly, your self image and self worth.
6) Don’t listen to anyone who is not positive, uplifting, or encouraging. Negative people only feed the wolf (#18) and cheapen your self worth. Iron sharpens iron. You deserve better.
7) Embrace developing disciplined work habits. While not much fun or appreciated now, it will serve you well later in life. And now is the best time to learn and develop this. In fact, this habit has the power to make or break you, throughout your lifetime. Don’t let regret hit you in hindsight.
8) Don’t be so jealous of and/or intimidated by all the rich girls you go to school with now. Their money, clothes, and Louis Vuitton bags make them better dressed than you, but it does not make them better people than you. See #1 and #6. Learn to see beyond the cover of the book.
9) Pay better attention when mom is teaching you to sew and knit. You will appreciate these later on in life. Plus she won’t be around forever. See #7.
10) Practice the piano more. See #7 and #15. Time is plentiful now but it won’t be later. Regret weighs tons.
11) Don’t worry so much about just having guy friends rather than boyfriends. Boys have as much growing up to do as you. The best boyfriends will be the ones you can be friends with. See #1.
12) Get a calendar and pay better attention to getting your assignments done on time. See #7 and #15. Guilt only adds weight to your shoulders.
13) The best way to make connections and make friends is to be interested in other people. See #4 and #16. People don’t care about how much your know until they know how much you care.
14) Its ok to have oily skin. Its not just a teenage thing for you so learn how to take better care of it. Be thankful you have oilier skin because it will keep you looking younger longer! Invest in some better skin care products. Ignore mom and sis on this. See #7.
15) Stop procrastinating or it will become a lifelong habit. See #7.
16) Just because mom is tactless and judgemental, does not mean that you have to be. Start reading books now that will help you learn to escape this legacy sooner rather than later.
17) When the time comes, go learn from a professional about applying cosmetics….just go do it….sooner rather than later.
18) Have more faith in yourself and stop being so afraid to step out. Fear is like a wolf….the more you feed it, the more ferocious it will be.
19) Stop laughing at mom and start learning all those dance steps. She won’t be around forever.
20) Start working out and exercising, in some form, even if just lightly. Yes, you many have the coordination of an elephant in a yoga class, but you have to start somewhere. Your metabolism won’t be fast forever. Despite what you may think, you are not fat now….but without this habit, you will eventually have trouble in this area. Your long term health is too important to overlook this. See #7 and #18.
21) Stop yearning so much for the future “what ifs” and spend time in the present, appreciating what and who is right in front of you. Each moment is precious because it will not come again.
Comments
My darling, you didnt know it @ 13.... but you do know all this wisdom now....you wouldn't believe the amount of women I know, who are 20 or 30 years older than your gorgeous self, that cannot see it yet....
Hugggzzzzz
Loved this post, I often think about my younger self and her experiences, always with regret, I'm afraid. "If I knew then what I know now," is a phrase with which I'm heavily associated.
However, learning things and experiencing things the way I did made me the person I am now, equipped with all that knowledge, right?
Dear Foxsy,
Thanks, first of all, for the comment about my blog. I agree with Mrs. Peel, though. You know those 21 things now and that's what's important. You expected a bit too much from your 13-year-old self, I think. For example, trusting yourself instead of your idiot teacher. How can any child do that? When we're young, we think every adult is smarter than we are, especially those in authority. I was a teacher at one time, so I can tell you from personal experience how stupid we teachers can actually be. It's so much easier for some teachers to say their pupils can't or won't learn, rather than that we as teachers, don't have what it takes to teach them and are too lazy to really try, anyway. So don't blame your 13- year -old self for that. When we're young there are people in a position of authority who make us feel stupid, even when we're not. That's because they can't earn our respect by doing their jobs properly, so they have to bully us into thinking they know better than us, instead. Now you've got your list, they're all great things to aspire to/remember for the whole of your life. I don't know how old you are but judging from your photo, not very. You haven't learn anything too late, believe me. It's also interesting you said I'd inspired your post, because you inspired me, too. I read your blog and loved it's happy tone, so my blog for tommorow ( I blog once every seven days) is much lighter and funnier this time. That's thanks to you, kiddo. In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Fun is good." All the best, Patricia
Thanks, babe! Yes, I know what you mean and I totally subscribe to the same belief that I wouldn't be where I am without the journey I have taken. I may want to take out or change the bad parts, but doing so may also change the good parts.
However, I like introspection and this was a good exercise for me to look back on where I was and what I have learned since then.
And in all my introspection, I have, for a long time now, thought that if I had the self image and knowledge, when I was younger, that I possess now, I would have been one to be reckoned with! HA! ....it might have been scary! haha! :)
Thanks, Patricia!
I am in total agreement with you (and the fab Mrs.Peel) that its good to have this list now. However, the list is titled "things I would have loved to tell my 13 year old self" which to me is just a wish list. I love mentoring young kids, especially girls, to be more confident and strong. I wasn't confident in myself and to me that the thread of the post. I had very good instincts but lived in fear of stepping out because I had no faith in myself. And I know at that age, we are still figuring out so much. Some kids are more confident than others. I was not in that group.
I am the youngest of 4 kids and my elder brothers and sister were in college by the time I was 13 so I was always around older people and adopted an older attitude...but was not older in confidence. I think it was because I was alone a lot since everyone was older and moving on, including my parents. And I think that is why I am so introspective with having been left alone a lot with my own thoughts. Unfortunately, there was no one around to encourage me or to pay attention to some of the things that should have been noticed, in my opinion. For instance, I started having trouble with eyesight when I was 12 and made it clear that I was having trouble seeing....but I did not get glasses until I was 15.
As I already said, I had good instincts about certain things, especially when things were wrong, but unfortunately, I did not know how to communicate effectively in order to get taken seriously. I know its not my fault, but it surely would have been handy.....and thats why its part of my "wish" list. And I know that, as children, we are supposed to trust adults......but like I said, my instincts were pretty good and I often knew which ones to trust and which ones were full of the brown stuff. Its just hard as a kid to get yourself heard and taken seriously.
And to clarify, no teacher ever told me I was stupid. My mother, my brother, and my sister used to yell at me that I had a mental block when they all tried to tutor me in french and algebra. The bullying was kept in the family. That job was not outsourced. Unfortunately no one ever noticed that there was a thread to all the things I was having challenges with. I aced everything else.
And my age? I think I am older than you think. As I have you in my friends list, you will be able to see this and find out my age! :)
Thanks for the boost and the compliments. I am pleased you think my blog has a happy tone to it....that means a lot to me! :) And I look forward to reading your next post!